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Baby Watch


Welcome!  Here you'll find the latest news on what's up with the Rhoades family.

DISCLAIMER: Prerecorded for this time zone. Driver does not carry cash. Substantial penalty for early withdrawal. Hand wash only, tumble dry on low heat. You need not be present to win. Some assembly required. Action figures sold separately. If rash, irritation, redness, or swelling develops, discontinue use. Any similarity to real persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental. Contents may settle during shipment. May be too intense for some viewers. Not recommended for children. Contestants have been briefed on some questions before the show. Freshest if eaten before date on carton. Batteries not included. All quotes are delayed. Void where prohibited. One size fits all. For a limited time only. Apply only to affected area. Use other side for additional listings. For recreational use only. Do not disturb. Not actual size. All models over 18 years of age. If condition persists, consult your physician. No user-serviceable parts inside. Do not write below this line. Simulated picture. No shoes, no shirt, no service. No postage necessary if mailed in the United States. Price does not include taxes. Times approximate. Call before you dig. Ribbed for your pleasure. No purchase necessary. Breaking seal constitutes acceptance of agreement. Hand wash only. No preservatives added. Safety goggles may be required during use. For external use only. Beware of dog. Use only with proper ventilation. Parental advisory - explicit lyrics. Remain seated until it has come to a complete stop. Many suitcases look alike. Contains a substantial amount of non-tobacco ingredients. Employees and their families are not eligible. Colors may, in time, fade. Objects in mirror may be closer than they appear. No passes, please. We have sent the forms which seem to be right for you. Sanitized for your protection. Slippery when wet. Mileage may vary. Keep away from sunlight, pets, small children, and lawyers. Avoid extreme temperatures and store in a cool dry place. No money down. Keep away from open flames and avoid inhaling fumes. For office use only. Slightly enlarged to show detail. Edited for television. Keep cool; process promptly. No solicitors. Post office will not deliver without postage. List was current at time of printing. Not responsible for direct, indirect, incidental or consequential damages resulting from any defect, error or failure to perform. Quantities are limited while supplies last. Limit one per customer. Not for resale. Documents are provided "as is" without any warranties expressed or implied, written or not written, verbal or not, dreamt or not, or imagined or not. I am the walrus. Disclaimer does not cover hurricane, lightning, tornado, tsunami, volcanic eruption, earthquake, flood, and other Acts of God, misuse, neglect, unauthorized repair, damage from improper installation, broken antenna or marred cabinet, incorrect line voltage, missing or altered serial numbers, sonic boom vibrations, electromagnetic radiation from nuclear blasts, customer adjustments that are not covered in the above aforementioned list, and incidents owing to airplane crash, ship sinking, motor vehicle accidents, leaky roof, broken glass, falling rocks, mud slides, forest fire, flying projectiles, insane kids, evil clowns, or dropping the item; other restrictions may apply. If something offends you, lighten up, get a life, and move on.

This page was last updated on 11/02/06.